rachel slurs

oops! you're at rachel slurs version 1.0

2010-08-20T04:58:00.005-04:00

You are welcome to stay here & enjoy the archives, but I hope you'll come visit me at:

»Rachel Slurs version 2.0

hakuna matata

2010-04-01T01:43:00.002-04:00

it means no worries for the rest of your days...what a wonderful phrase!

either they're just real cute or they just took tabs of e

2010-04-01T01:41:00.002-04:00

Kidding about the e, relax. My heart is a little warmer today thanks to this series of photos:

photography projects

2010-04-01T01:36:00.002-04:00

Even though writing has always been one of my "things," pictures can say so much that words cannot. I've been working on some small scale photography projects that are coming along very, very slowly now...but I'm tired of moving slowly. I want to go fast. Ricky Bobby fast.

little red, riding hood

2010-04-01T01:31:00.000-04:00

kids are growing up too fast

2010-04-01T01:28:00.002-04:00

Not only is my little sister starting to ask me questions about Justin Bieber, but I was playing a rousing game of Candyland with her the other night when she said this:

"It's your turn, yo."

Kids are growing up way too fast.

those were the good ol' days!

2010-03-07T04:01:00.001-05:00

"what day did YOU enjoy the most this year?"

[ source ]

now it all makes sense

2010-03-07T03:49:00.000-05:00

for my first time on chatroulette, i disabled webcam and audio, yet i still felt anxious and paranoid. i feel somewhat uncomfortable watching people who know they are being watched, yet a strange part of me enjoys the ride. it's all, "what will i see next?!"

except 1/4 times, the next thing you'll see is man junk. so chatroulette gets less exciting and more like an interactive psychological thriller with intermittent penis commercials. i x-ed out after i saw a dude in a banana hammock and after this convo:

cheeseburger on a trampoline

2010-02-06T18:31:00.001-05:00

anybody can own a mac!

2010-02-06T18:30:00.000-05:00

i love ny

2010-02-06T18:29:00.000-05:00

it's been a hell of a decade

2010-02-06T18:25:00.003-05:00

[ NYTimes Op-Ed]

click to enlarge

very funny, tbs...

2010-01-21T02:54:00.008-05:00

I was hoping that from now on my posts would be more fashion-centric, but I can't help it. You give me a blank space to write, and I'm going to let my mind run...so run with me here.

Lopez Tonight Sucks.

It took me a while to get used to "The George Lopez Show," but it wasn't too hard because Nick at Nite basically made me by playing it all night long, and I've had to get used to worse Nick at Nite programming, ie. Rosanne. (To die hard fans: I just didn't like that show, ok? Leave it alone.)

But "Lopez Tonight," I cannot and will not get used to. I've given it 2-3 chances and have had to change the channel or turn it off for my mental stability. How is Conan getting kicked out of his tonight show, but George Lopez gets to continue tormenting TBS viewers every night at 11pm?

That is not a subliminal advertisement. Don't watch it. I'll save you the pain and the curiosity, as it's virtually the same show every night:

George Lopez enters.
The crowd cheers as the camera pans over the mostly Hispanic audience.
George Lopez is loving the attention and milks it for all its worth.
He messes in his pants a little.
George Lopez starts the "show."
[ Insert self-depreciating Mexican joke that probably pisses respectable Mexicans off. ]
[ Insert painfully contrived pun in reference to current pop culture news.
-Example: "Tiger Woods in trouble for using his wood! Oh man!" ]
[ Insert another "Oh man!" and "You kidding me?" ]
[ Insert random Spanish word/phrase to remind you that he is George Lopez. ]

Sigh. I'm waiting for "Lopez Tonight" to suffer the same demise as the Jeff Dunham show. Who?

Thank you Jeff Dunham, for sucking so much that I don't have to accidentally watch you anymore.

And another thing. What's with TBS's slogan: "Very Funny"? Unless they meant it sarcastically.

George Lopez.................very funny...

dog tickling baby

2010-01-20T03:06:00.001-05:00

rachel slurs is moving (eventually)

2010-01-08T14:39:00.007-05:00

This blog began as a personal website meant for random musings and posting humorous photos, but it developed into an occassional fashion diary and an online inspiration board. I've enjoyed watching its progress and receiving positive feedback from unexpected readers--but the real world (and societal pressures) are telling me it's time to grow up.

However, "growing up" does not mean abandoning creativity or freedom of expression. In simpler terms, I'm ready to give 500% of me into a job that I can feel passionate about, but I am also ready to push my creative boundaries through my freelance work and side projects. I want it to be less about "hobbies" and amusement and more about action and results.

Long story short: I'm growing up.

But still rocking on.

Edit: After a week of indecision, I think I've decided to stay a while...

GMH - Givesmehope.com

2009-12-09T03:51:00.003-05:00

[ GivesMeHope.com ]

One random day (this is how I can basically start off any entry) I was googling the opposite of FML. If you haven't heard of FML by now, you're either technologically unsavvy or really out of the loop. (I want to apologize for sounding so judgmental, yet I don't, because I'm not sorry.)

GMH is a very positive website and after discovering it, I kept on clicking and read through to the end. It's good stuff....and it GMH.

karl lagerfeld for spongebob and charity

2009-12-09T03:40:00.003-05:00

[ WWD ]

"A SpongeBob SquarePants figurine given a makeover by Karl Lagerfeld attracted the highest bid at a recent Paris fundraiser for WWF, generating 1,000 euros, or about $1,500 at current exchange."

I think he's cute. He's even got the little Karl gloves on!

true colors

2009-12-08T04:33:00.005-05:00

That's right, I'm not afraid or ashamed to admit it: I have an undying love for this song.

True, it all started with Cyndi Lauper, but the Phil Collins version is my jam (soft music, yeah!) and it's still featured in my shower playlist. It's good in virtually every version it comes in.

Even Cyndi Lauper gets soft on it.

Does Cyndi Lauper LOOK soft to you?

Then in 2001, "Save the Last Dance" came out, starring Julia "Don't-even-get-me-started" Stiles, which featured a remake of "True Colors" by Fredro Starr ft. Jill Scott:

And last (but obviously not least), "True Colors" was featured on Fox's Glee in the episode titled "Hairography":

Gosh, I sure do love this song.

sideways

2009-11-30T02:26:00.004-05:00

Are you laying down with your laptop next to you in bed like me, watching a show or a movie, or even just "surfing the net," and your vision is blurring because you're looking at everything sideways? It's times like that when I wish my laptop was like a ginormous ipod that knows when it's sideways. Luckily for us, or just me, we don't have that problem anymore.

ROTATE ME !

http://rotateme.org/?u=

just add the website after the = sign for your sideways viewing pleasure.

i bet princess diana would've seen him

2009-11-24T01:33:00.004-05:00

Princess Camilla visits a school playground in England. You tell me.

criminals are not as stupid as you think

2009-11-24T01:24:00.005-05:00

Hell, I'm taking notes!! Haha....................jk? Gotta give it to him though--pretty clever.

basically. we're not asking for much!

2009-11-24T01:17:00.007-05:00

[ keep clicking to zoom. come on, i know you can figure it out. ]

pika-who the hell are you?!

2009-11-24T01:17:00.005-05:00

[ some chick's devianart ]

I can honestly say I have no idea what I'd do if I was approached by someone wearing this mask. Definitely a bold choice.

why get a cat when you can get a crackhead?

2009-11-13T01:24:00.002-05:00

I didn't watch all of it, but I watched enough to see these guys successfully get a crackhead to chase a laser around, like a cat. He chased it so hard he knocked into a pole, too [around the 1:40 mark]. Silly crackhead.....stop doing crack.

we're here! we're queer! get used to it!

2009-11-13T00:53:00.005-05:00

I'm feeling lazy as hell as I'm blogging in bed, so I will be half-assing this post. Big ups to this 10-year-old kid in Arkansas who is refusing to take part in reciting the pledge of allegiance because it doesn't practice what it preaches:

“I've always tried to analyze things because I want to be lawyer,” Will said. “I really don't feel that there's currently liberty and justice for all.”

And he will continue to refuse to do the pledge of allegiance (ala Brangelina refusing to marry) until gay people can have the same rights as straight people. And even more surprising, the kid is from Arkansas. When I think of "Arkansas," nothing really comes to mind besides random images of hay and wood. But now I'll have this fine child to think about.

(NOT LIKE THAT.)

Anyways, good job kid.

And here is a hilarious video of what you get when you put the Jew and Gay-bashing Westboro Baptist Church wackos vs. New York City (in a predominantly gay and Jewish community). A lot of the humor I found in it definitely came from some good editing.

APPRECIATED!

a sweet, precious video

2009-11-13T00:47:00.004-05:00

...of a dog and soldier reunited. As if I needed another reason to love dogs.

the funniest anti-mcdonalds game i've ever played

2009-11-13T00:47:00.001-05:00

google worries me

2009-11-11T17:33:00.004-05:00

Google is generally really good with their automatic search results, but not this time. The further I got with my question, the more concern I had for society as a whole. I started with "why":

And then I went on to the ever-popular "why are":

The people who have to google "why are there school" are the ones who would clearly benefit the most from an education.

why not just say what i'm thinking?

2009-11-11T17:30:00.000-05:00

reading will take you places

2009-10-31T11:40:00.000-04:00

where can i get me one of those swans?

2009-10-31T11:21:00.003-04:00

Not many people can rock a swim cap while laying in a giant swan like Miranda Kerr can. But seriously, I want that ginormous swan. It'd be the next best thing to feeling like I'm riding a mythical creature.

concrete jungle where dreams are made of

2009-10-31T11:20:00.000-04:00

(there's nothing you can't do)

simply sweet

2009-10-31T11:18:00.001-04:00

photography love

2009-10-31T11:14:00.003-04:00

somewhat abstract

2009-10-31T11:12:00.001-04:00

and somewhat reminiscent of a Hollister ad campaign??

no explanation needed

2009-10-31T11:10:00.002-04:00

i fly like paper

2009-10-31T11:03:00.002-04:00

You can't buy creativity, but you can fold it into paper and hang it from a clothesline.

hurricane rachel

2009-10-31T10:55:00.002-04:00

When I was little, I used to take long, wrinkly-fingered baths. I would sit in the center of the tub, extend my arm out, and spin round and round like the spin cycle of a washing machine. The water would swirl around me and I'd imagine I was a boisterous hurricane with me at the helm of the eye of the storm.

No lives were ever harmed in my hurricanes though. Katrina, you bitch.

just an ordinary day

2009-10-29T14:21:00.002-04:00

Salvador Dali walking his anteater.

i feel like chicken tonight!

2009-10-29T14:20:00.002-04:00

is this cool? yes/no/maybe so?

2009-10-26T17:25:00.002-04:00

you don't have to stop

2009-10-26T17:24:00.002-04:00

how i want to live my life

2009-10-26T17:23:00.002-04:00

sushi legos

2009-10-26T17:22:00.004-04:00

that he does...

2009-10-26T17:21:00.002-04:00

let's hope she did say yes

2009-10-26T17:20:00.002-04:00

find inspiration in everything

2009-10-26T17:15:00.004-04:00

i've thought this on every vacation

2009-10-26T17:14:00.002-04:00

shooting stars

2009-10-26T17:11:00.002-04:00

alessandra ambrosio in balmain

2009-10-26T17:10:00.003-04:00

ru syndicated

2009-10-20T00:53:00.006-04:00

RU SYNDICATED?
1767 Route 22 West, Union, NJ 07083

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

[12pm / noon] - [12am / midnight]
25% off the ENTIRE STOCK

[syndicatedclothing.com ]
[syndicatedclothing.blogspot.com]

halloween is approaching

2009-10-20T00:23:00.004-04:00

I have no idea what I'm going to be this year, if anything at all. I'm sure I'll be something, as to avoid the inevitable (and extremely annoying) "Where's your costume?" or "What are you supposed to be?" Besides, I've only known one person whose family strictly doesn't celebrate Halloween because it's "the devil's holiday."

I'm no longer excited or entertained by having society's permission to dress like a costumed slut, on Satan's day of celebration, no less. I'm more into clever costumes where I lose my dignity over looking like a clown, rather than losing it by wearing minimal clothing. Here's a costume that caught my eye:

And here's a way for your dog to celebrate this day of evil with you:

this dude's like a looney tunes character

2009-10-20T00:22:00.000-04:00

owl city - fireflies

2009-10-19T14:48:00.003-04:00

Song lyrics | Fireflies lyrics

This is the kind of song that reminds you why your dreams are so important. I wonder if Owl City knows they wrote a song about me...

[ download song ]

do you believe in romance?

2009-10-17T15:52:00.002-04:00

stranger danger

2009-10-17T15:43:00.001-04:00

DevrySux: hey u got facebook
rachelslurs: yeah.........y would u ask me that, u added me as a friend
DevrySux: o u accept
rachelslurs: yeah
DevrySux: yeh i put we dated as how we meet
DevrySux: me and u
DevrySux: lol..just kidding
DevrySux: wish was able to put that

a few things i plan on doing:

2009-10-14T06:27:00.006-04:00

1. Changing this blog significantly:

-Making it more focused on humor and lifestyle while having a separate fashion and entertainment blog, or just keep doing my random thing?

I read far too many blogs to know that I can do so much more with mine, and I think it's time.

2. Moving to tumblr:

-Just seems like it could be a better place to be...

Just like Blogspot was the new Xanga, I guess Tumblr is the new Blogspot. But this would mean heckling Dee for another kickass layout...

3. Revamping my entire lifestyle:

-It will be a necessary and welcome change.

This will include ridding my life of my vices (or at least keeping them as guilty pleasures; not daily indulgences) which includes smoking, eating in bed, not exercising, biting my nails, and living as a paradox. I have have OCD-like tendencies, yet the cleanliness of my room currently rivals that of a crack den, which I can't say I'm too proud of.

3. a. Changing my closet:

-When I moved back home, I realized I have a ton of clothing. Some of it I wear regularly, some of it I save for the right mood and day, and others are unwearable unless I fix them up and reconstruct them. However, I'm getting real bored with my wardrobe, yet I'm not in the position to be buying more, so the only solution is to work with what I have--and to sell all the stuff I don't wear anymore. Plus, a corner of my room is devoted to stuff I know I don't want. This includes 2 coffee machines, a pair of unworn rainboots, and 2-3 boxes of clothing. Therefore, at some point (hopefully soon), I will officially open access to the depths of my closet.

It's funny how the first 2 are completely insignificant while #3 talks about changing my entire lifestyle. Not sure why I'm writing bullshit at 6:44am, but it doesn't surprise me in the least. Does this count as a vice?

don't stop believing

2009-10-13T02:03:00.005-04:00

Confession: I've been watching Glee, and I've been loving it. Like my sister said, it reminds me of the good ol' days of choir, and it gave me the same positive, warm feelings I used to get back then. To me, it's motivating and inspiring, so if I can get that from a television show, I'll take it.

Glee - Don't Stop Believe
by Bugabookas

I've secretly been wishing I'll be in a room of people who watch Glee and have also figured out the SATB arrangement and are excited to harmonize so we can just get things goin. So far it's just me and my sister, and we both switch from part to part because we have no communication.

Then there's this guy on YouTube, who is pretty damn talented.

And then of course, there's the PS 22 chorus in the city that never ceases to amaze me--and reminds me that the world isn't all that bad. Stop being an asshole and have faith in young people!

And another from PS 22 if you're not convinced (or you're still an asshole):

DON'T STOP! BELIEVING!

happy birthday

2009-10-11T11:54:00.007-04:00

to me! Thank you all for the texts, msgs, and phone calls--truly appreciated.

There was a time when I was at the top of my social life: I was going out all the time and constantly meeting new people while consistently maintaining communication with every group of my friends. Those were the days when I had intended for my birthday to become a wild, drunken spectacle. (For my 21st, we went out to a club in the city and stayed in a hotel room--but because of my intoxication, the slight damage to my self-esteem from heartache, and my need for spontaneity, I made some regrettable decisions.) But now? I suppose it's different now. 21 is a birthday meant for celebrating your drunken legality, but 22 feels like a birthday that's meant for reflection and maturity. And I'm finding that if a person is clearly going out of their way to celebrate my birthday or contact me to wish me a happy one, that means something special.

I used to think that it was all about how many phone calls and texts I'd get at midnight, and how many facebook wall posts I'd get for the day--but after last night, I didn't even care anymore. Midnight had struck and Brian was getting more texts than I was. He did the whole obligatory, "It's homecoming so everyone's out--I'm sure you'll get a ton of people contacting you tomorrow." But, again, it doesn't matter, because as common sense would have it, quality is more important than quantity. And right now, I'm finding a rare quality in my friends that have reached out for my birthday because I've remained fairly quiet over the past year--and if people are still trying to hear me despite that, then my 22nd birthday makes me happier than I had ever expected to be.

rachel slurs

2009-10-10T12:33:00.001-04:00

will be taking a brief hiatus as I stud EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.

it's killin me.

2009-10-04T14:26:00.001-04:00

a literal interpretation of pat benetar's love is a battlefield.

which reminds me of this south park moment that always gives me the LOLs:

runaway dog

2009-09-29T14:53:00.004-04:00

Tiny runs away a lot. I don't believe it's because he hates living with my family, but more so because he's a little punk who likes to explore and doesn't realize that he can get run over, kidnapped, or cooked for dog meat. Today, he ran away again.

I realized this when I heard Kyle shouting for him. I was just about to take a shower so I haphazardly threw on minimal clothing and ran out into the street in the middle of the afternoon. Eventually, I discovered he was found down the street at the convenience store.

I got there and ran into a group of kids (about my age) that look like they hang out at convenience stores regularly. One of them was holding Tiny, and I approached and said thank you for finding my dog. This kid proceeded to walk past me and ignore me, and his friends wondered aloud if he was going to give him back to me.

Kid: "There's no reward?"
Me: "Sorry, I don't have anything on me. I ran here."

Kid: "Fine. I had to chase him down the street you know."

Me: "Thanks."

Kid: "Where do you live?"
Me: "Down the street."
Kid: "Want a ride there? I can give you a ride there."
Me: "No, thanks, it's okay. Thanks for finding my dog."

He finally hands Tiny over. I begin walking down the street, and the kid runs to catch up and asks again if I need a ride home. I politely decline, again.

Upon returning home, I realized that not only did I look like a fucking slob, but I also forgot to throw on a bra.

And I realized Tiny's dog tag said "Reward."

Just wanted to apologize for wasting your time on another pointless story.

a reminder to count my blessings

2009-09-29T14:49:00.003-04:00

As a writer with a project, it's important for me to figure out how best to capture and portray the essence of a person's character. It's that much easier when you have an email account full of old emails where you can pull out examples of how to characterize the epitome of a loser asshole.

It makes me smile to read old emails, even if they say terrible things, mostly because i can always be happy that it was the past and i'll never have to deal with it again. And I guess in a sick twisted way, it's humorous in that FML sense, where people are willing to sacrifice their dignity for a small ounce of humor at their own expense. A person can learn a lot in two years and things change; especially one's level of acceptance towards bullshit douchebaggery. Why I ever put up with this kind of mistreatment is beyond me:

________________________________

"i never gave u a certain time and i'm turning off my phone u stupid bitch, don't fucking talk to me"
________________________________

3:49 PM
me: HI!
3:59 PM
[asshole]: fuck u
________________________________

10:33 PM
[dick]: r u there
me: yeah
about to eat dinner
whats up
[dick]: slut
_________________________________

"yea i feel like ive been such a waste this winter break i dont know how u did it all summer"

_________________________________

b4 i say this im not calling u a slut cause i dnt think u do anything sexual with ur guys friends, but only sluts have as many guy friends as u do and only dirty sluts drink and smoke with a bunch of guys. and having all those guy friends is disrespectful and embarassing to me, having my girlfriend or ex or whatever hanging out with a bunch of guys makes me look like im being played by u first of all, it makes u look single and it makes u look like a slut.

and after i say all this u wont even care bc u dont care and bc ur selfish and ur
gonna do what u want and not care about my feeling but it just what u "wanna do right now it what feels right". well i guess looking like a slut feels right to u.

_______________________________

"im gonna kill u in ur sleep"

_______________________________

If you or anyone you know is in an abusive relationship and needs help, get it. Don't let an asshole loser like this one push you down, especially since you're probably way out of his league anyway.

And go be with someone who knows what you're worth. I think I'm gonna go see my someone right now!

nothing weird about this

2009-09-27T12:25:00.003-04:00

wtf is this?

2009-09-20T16:02:00.001-04:00

in style magazine [1 year sub] = $5!

2009-09-20T14:06:00.000-04:00

[ get it ! ]

good job kelly clarkson...(and backup singers)

2009-09-19T17:35:00.002-04:00

bc i can't possibly get any weirder...

2009-09-17T08:13:00.004-04:00

...I'm not afraid to say I really like this. If I actually had a need for a wallet (aka money to put into it), I'd probably order it. Who knows, maybe I will. It even has one of those mysterious mattress tags on the inside:

It's $24 at fred flare.

fresh from fashion week

2009-09-17T01:35:00.002-04:00

Not my pic and I don't even know who the designer is--the pic was taken at Fashion Week by my friend's friend and I'm just posting in appreciation and not wanting to forget it. It's hot! Nuts and bolts = the new studs??

congrats, MJ

2009-09-17T01:27:00.003-04:00

for:
-being inducted into the basketball hall of fame
-becoming a legend and changing the game
-being the first billion dollar athlete [aka rich-as-fuck]

Check out the Jordan x Fairey x Upper Deck pictures created for the Michael Jordan Hall of Fame Tribute Series by Artist Shepard Fairey: [link ]

they just keep on comin'

2009-09-17T01:23:00.001-04:00

SMH = shaking my head

2009-09-17T01:19:00.002-04:00

"i'm a muthafu*kin' gay fish..."

2009-09-17T01:14:00.001-04:00

thanks niketalk. and b :)

the beauty of facebook

2009-09-17T01:13:00.002-04:00

[ collegehumor.com ]

jay-z to lil mama: "oh, you gonna t-pain it, huh?"

2009-09-17T01:06:00.001-04:00

audio of obama calling kanye a jackass

2009-09-15T21:46:00.001-04:00

[ tmz ]

read the news: new purported osama bin laden message

2009-09-14T03:30:00.004-04:00

CNN.com - "Purported bin Laden message surfaces"

as expected, an ALL CAPS APOLOGY FROM KANYE

2009-09-14T02:57:00.002-04:00

in form of blog post, of course:

"I'M SOOOOO SORRY TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER FANS AND HER MOM. I SPOKE TO HER MOTHER RIGHT AFTER AND SHE SAID THE SAME THING MY MOTHER WOULD'VE SAID. SHE IS VERY TALENTED! I LIKE THE LYRICS ABOUT BEING A CHEERLEADER AND SHE'S IN THE BLEACHERS! …………………… I'M IN THE WRONG FOR GOING ON STAGE AND TAKING AWAY FROM HER MOMENT!…………….. BEYONCE'S VIDEO WAS THE BEST OF THIS DECADE!!!! I'M SORRY TO MY FANS IF I LET YOU GUYS DOWN!!!! I'M SORRY TO MY FRIENDS AT MTV. I WILL APOLOGIZE TO TAYLOR 2MRW. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!! EVERYBODY WANNA BOOOOO ME BUT I'M A FAN OF REAL POP CULTURE!!! NO DISRESPECT BUT WE WATCHIN' THE SHOW AT THE CRIB RIGHT NOW CAUSE … WELL YOU KNOW!!!! I'M STILL HAPPY FOR TAYLOR!!!! BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!! YOU ARE VERY VERY TALENTED!!! I GAVE MY AWARDS TO OUTKAST WHEN THEY DESERVED IT OVER ME… THAT'S WHAT IT IS!!!!!!! I'M NOT CRAZY YALL, I'M JUST REAL. SORRY FOR THAT!!! I REALLY FEEL BAD FOR TAYLOR AND I'M SINCERELY SORRY!!! MUCH RESPECT!!!!!"

had to post it. (thanks niketalk)

2009-09-13T22:58:00.004-04:00

classic hetal moment

2009-09-13T22:40:00.004-04:00

[talking about purchasing ipods:]

hetal: you think i should go for the classic or go for the classic?

me: hmm

me: well
me: between those two choices

me: i'd have to say go for the classic

hetal: lol

hetal: sighhhh

hetal: i want both

your looks can only take you so far...

2009-09-13T14:20:00.006-04:00

[sorry for the bad html. too lazy to fix.]

As you may probably already know, Megan Fox is a sexy bitch--but don't stay so focused on the sexy part. Apparently, she's literally a bitch.

Fox has trashed Transformers Director Michael Bay several times in the press; one time comparing him to the likes of Hitler:
"He’s like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he's a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he's not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he's so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. He has no social skills at all. And it's endearing to watch him. He's vulnerable and fragile in real life and then on set he's a tyrant. Shia and I almost die when we make a Transformers movie. He has you do some really insane things that insurance would never let you do."
Now, thanks to three Transformers crew members, we all get to read an open letter they wrote confirming that Megan Fox is indeed a sexy bitch; likely more bitch than sexy:

This is an open letter to all Michael Bay fans. We are three crew members that have worked with Michael for the past ten years. Last week we read the terrible article with inflammatory, truly trashing quotes by the Ms. Fox about Michael Bay. This letter is to set a few things straight.
Yes, Megan has great eyes, a tight stomach we spray with glycerin, and an awful silly Marilyn Monroe tattoo plastered on her arm that we cover up to keep the moms happy.
Michael found this shy, inexperienced girl, plucked her out of total obscurity thus giving her the biggest shot of any young actresses' life. He told everyone around to just trust him on his choice. He granted her the starring role in Transformers, a franchise that forever changed her life; she became one of the most googled and oogled women on earth. She was famous! She was the next Angelina Jolie, hooray! Wait a minute, two of us worked with Angelina – second thought – she’s no Angelina. You see, Angelia is a professional.
We know this quite intimately because we’ve had the tedious experience of working with the dumb-as-a-rock Megan Fox on both Transformers movies. We've spent a total of 12 months on set making these two movies.
We are in different departments; we can’t give our names because sadly doing so in Hollywood could lead to being banished from future Paramount work. One of us touches Megan’s panties, the other has the often shitty job of pulling Ms. Sourpants out of her trailer, while another is near the Panaflex camera that helps to memorialize the valley girl on film.
Megan has the press fooled. When we read those magazines we wish we worked with that woman. Megan knows how to work her smile for the press. Those writers should try being on set for two movies, sadly she never smiles. The cast, crew and director make Transformers a really fun and energetic set. We’ve traveled around the world together, so we have never understood why Megan was always such the grump of the set?
When facing the press, Megan is the queen of talking trailer trash and posing like a porn star. And yes we’ve had the unbearable time of watching her try to act on set, and yes, it's very cringe-able. So maybe, being a porn star in the future might be a good career option. But make-up beware, she has a paragraph tattooed to her backside (probably due her rotten childhood) -- easily another 45 minutes in the chair!
So when the three of us caught wind of Ms Fox, pontificating yet again in some publication (like she actually has something interesting to say) blabbing her trash mouth about a director whom we three have grown to really like. She compared working with Michael, to “working with Hitler”. We actually don’t think she knows who Hitler is by the way. But we wondered how she doesn’t realize what a disgusting, fully uneducated comment this was? Well, here let’s get some facts straight.
Say what you want about Michael – yes at times he can be hard, but he's also fun, and he challenges everyone for a reason – he simply wants people to bring their ‘A’ game. He comes very prepared, knows exactly what he wants, involves the crew and expects everyone to follow through with his or her best, and that includes the actors. He’s one of the hardest working directors out there.
He gets the best from his crews, many of whom have worked with him for 15 years. And yes, he’s loyal, one of the few directors we’ve encountered who lowered his fee by millions to keep Transformers in the United States and California, so he could work with his own crew.
Megan says that Transformers was an unsafe set? Come on Megan, we know it is a bit more strenuous then the playground at the trailer park, but you don’t insult one of the very best stunt and physical effects teams in the business! Not one person got hurt!
And who is the real Megan Fox? She is very different than the academy nominee and winning actors we’ve all worked around. She’s as about ungracious a person as you can ever fathom. She shows little interest in the crew members around her. We work to make her look good in every way, but she's absolutely never appreciative of anyone’s hard work. Never a thank you. All the crewmembers have stopped saying hi to Ms. Princess because she never says hello back. It gets tiring. Many think she just really hates the process of being an actress.
Megan has been late to the sets many times. She goes through the motions that make her exude this sense of misery. We’ve heard the A.D’s piped over the radio that Megan won’t walk from her trailer until John Turturro walks first! John’s done seventy-five movies and she’s made two!
Never expect Megan to attend any of the 15 or so crew parties like all the other actors have. And then there's the classless night she blew off The Royal Prince of Jordan who made a special dinner for all the actors. She doesn’t know that one of the grips' daughters wanted to visit their daddy’s work to meet Megan, but he wouldn’t let them come because he told them “she is not nice."
The press certainly doesn’t know her most famous line. On our first day in Egypt, the Egyptian government wouldn’t let us shoot because of a permit problem as the actors got ready in make up at the Four Seasons Hotel. Michael tried to make the best of it; he wanted to take the cast and crew on a private tour of the famous Giza pyramids. God hold us witness, Megan said, "I can’t believe Michael is fucking forcing us to go to the fucking pyramids!" I guess this is the “Hitler guy” she is referring to.
So this is the Megan Fox you don’t get to see. Maybe she will learn, but we figure if she can sling insults, then she can take them too. Megan really is a thankless, classless, graceless, and shall we say unfriendly bitch. It's sad how fame can twist people, and even sadder that young girls look up to her. If only they knew who they're really looking up to.
But ‘fame’ is fleeting. We, being behind the scenes, seen em’ come and go. Hopefully Michael will have Megatron squish her character in the first ten minutes ofTransformers 3. We can tell you that will make the crew happy!
-Loyal Transformers Crew
Hire me instead, Michael Bay. I promise I won't compare you to Napoleon Bonaparte, and I smile so much that sometimes, it scares people.

But, alas. This is why I could never have a threesome with Megan Fox.

No one likes an ungrateful bitch!

sigh. just can't catch a break...

2009-09-13T13:42:00.000-04:00

captain planet, is that you?

2009-09-13T13:41:00.000-04:00

it's not everyday you see a potato

2009-09-13T13:40:00.001-04:00

THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE YOU.

remind me never to go to 49th street

2009-09-13T13:39:00.001-04:00

that stripper pole doll is so last week

2009-09-13T13:32:00.001-04:00

this is the new hot toy on the market:

his name isn't grimace for nothing

2009-09-13T13:28:00.002-04:00

[ link ]

stuffed pussy, anyone?

2009-09-13T13:23:00.001-04:00

[ link ]

it's buddha, a-pear-antly

2009-09-13T13:04:00.005-04:00

[ slashfood.com ]

Apparently, a Chinese farmer (SAY IT TO MY FACE) has been growing these Buddha pears since 2003, and this year he's reportedly grown 10,000 of these babies.

As usual......I'm not sure how this makes me feel.

my blogging is not futile

2009-09-13T12:56:00.002-04:00

Visits:
Total 2,002

Woohoo! Rachel Slurs has had 2,002 unique page visits since coming out with the new layout. Now if only you people would act like you read this, rather than acting like visiting my blog is your dirty little secret.

But that's okay...we could all use a dirty little secret every now and then. So as long as you keep on coming, I'll keep on posting.

Wink.

an ode to baby gummy bears

2009-09-12T17:52:00.001-04:00

Ok, this isn't really an ode. Just me professing my adoration for baby gummy bears. Why aren't they more common? Why have they disappeared from my life? They're so cute, and tiny, and I don't feel nearly as bad when I eat them because I don't feel like I've made that big of a commitment--whereas when I'm eating regular sized gummy bears, I get a little pouty if I have to eat a sucky leftover yellow one because I know it'll take at least a few chews and a forced gulp.

I dream of jumping in a pit of baby gummy bears and eating my way to the surface.

can't get enough

2009-09-12T14:39:00.005-04:00

I'm talking about Rihanna, of course!

i can appreciate this. good work!

2009-09-10T03:24:00.001-04:00

thanks simon

2009-09-09T14:53:00.001-04:00

zero pool etiquette!

2009-09-08T01:53:00.002-04:00

not teenage nor turtle; possibly mutant

2009-09-04T02:03:00.003-04:00

This is a dog.

That's all I can really say without running my mouth about how disturbing this looks to me. Seriously, though--WTF?

sticks & stones can't break these bones

2009-09-02T08:56:00.001-04:00

Delfina Delettrez - hand bracelet
$8,310.00

where i want to be

2009-09-02T08:51:00.000-04:00

who knew ohio could look so good?

2009-09-02T08:50:00.000-04:00

note to self

2009-09-02T08:47:00.003-04:00

I want to turn this photo into a design. Not a literal photo transfer to a shirt, but to exude the same qualities through the design of the piece itself.

Nah mean?